Our Adoption StoryAndrew & MaryKate

Finding the Right Path

When MaryKate and Andrew DeBoer welcomed their third son, they thought their family might be complete. But sometimes life has other plans. After experiencing complications during her third pregnancy, doctors warned MaryKate that future pregnancies could be risky. As their youngest son reached his first birthday, the couple began to have conversations about their family's future. "We just didn't feel like our family was done yet," MaryKate recalls. It was Andrew who first suggested adoption, opening a door to a path they would eventually embrace wholeheartedly.

The DeBoers conducted extensive research on adoption agencies, exploring both international and domestic options. The family was living in a state where only two adoption agencies operated and they wanted to cast a wider net. "We knew Angel Adoption worked with all 50 states, which was really important to us," Andrew explains. "We didn't want to limit our possibilities by only working locally."

After a phone interview with Liz at Angel Adoption in early 2021, the couple looked at each other and knew: "I think we have to do this."

The Emotional Journey Begins

Starting their adoption journey stirred a mix of emotions for the DeBoers. MaryKate admits she was nervous, particularly about how the dynamic between the expectant mother, adoptive parents, and child would work.

Andrew was more calm about it all and kept saying “It was in God's hands."

The couple appreciated how Angel Adoption broke down the process step by step, though the prospect of expectant mothers reviewing their profile was a bit overwhelming.

Surrounded by Support

The DeBoers' decision to adopt was met with tremendous support from their community. Their church family rallied around them, offering excitement and even financial gifts to help with adoption expenses.

On Andrew's side of the family, where there were already adopted family members, the news was received with immediate enthusiasm. MaryKate's family needed a little more time to understand the process.

"They had great intentions and were just being protective," MaryKate explains. "They wanted to know how everything worked, but they eventually came around completely."

The Moment of Truth

The call that changed their lives came after a considerable wait. Their baby was being born, but there were complications. The birth mother had been induced and was experiencing some challenges. Making matters more complex, the DeBoers were on an airplane when their son was born. When they arrived in the state of the birth mother, they learned their baby boy had been moved to a special care unit. They had to wait until the next day to meet him.

"The hospital staff knew who we were as the adoptive parents, which made things easier," Andrew remembers. "I was nervous going in, wondering about bonding and if it would happen naturally." But those concerns melted away instantly.

"As soon as I held him, he was mine," Andrew says simply. "All those worries about bonding just disappeared."

Building Beautiful Relationships

The DeBoers chose an open adoption. "I came to understand that open adoption is good for everyone involved," she explains. "It's been so nice to maintain that relationship."

Their relationship with the birth parents has evolved into something special. They communicate frequently and send pictures regularly.

"It's not awkward at all—it feels very natural," MaryKate shares. "We even visited the birth mother's family, which was one of the most amazing experiences. They've been so supportive of us as adoptive parents."

Overcoming Challenges

When asked about the biggest challenges of the adoption process, both MaryKate and Andrew say, "Waiting!"

For MaryKate, a natural planner, the uncertainty was particularly difficult. "The not knowing what would happen or when it would happen was hard," she admits. "Telling people we were adopting and then waiting with no news was challenging."

Their journey to adoption took three years in total. During that time, they even put their contract on hold temporarily to take care of family matters. There were moments of doubt when they asked themselves, "Do we keep going? Will this ever happen?"

Life as a Family of Six

One of the DeBoers' concerns was how their children, who were 10, 8, and 5 years old, would adjust when their new brother arrived.

"The love and bond between the siblings is awesome," MaryKate beams. "It feels so natural, which is something I'd want other families considering adoption to know."

Their son, Landen, has seamlessly become part of their family, creating his own special relationships with each of his older siblings.

Words of Wisdom

When asked what advice they would share with other adoptive parents, the DeBoers offer these insights:

"Don't have rigid expectations. Don't hold anything too tightly. You have to just go through the process as it unfolds," Andrew advises.

MaryKate adds, "Ask a lot of questions, both before and after placement. Stay open-minded throughout the entire journey."

Despite the challenges and the three-year wait, when asked if they would adopt again, their first response is an enthusiastic "Yes!" Though they acknowledge the ups and downs, the joy of welcoming Landen into their family has made every moment worthwhile.

The DeBoers' story is a testament to patience, faith, and the boundless capacity of the human heart to love. Their family may not have been formed in the way they initially expected, but their journey to finding each other was exactly as it was meant to be.