Are you considering adopting a second child? The most important thing to know is that there are no special rules or regulations when it comes to adopting and parenting your second child, though of course you benefit from having been through the adoption process before. Besides that point, there are a few other helpful things to know about adopting another child:
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Whether you are considering adoption or are just beginning the process, it’s completely natural to wonder how long the process will take. You’re so eager to grow your family and it can be frustrating wondering how long you may have to wait. To that end, it can bring you peace of mind to know a little bit more about the adoption process and how long it can take.
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The part of the adoption process that may seem the most daunting for some is the home study. Many feel put off by the idea of a stranger coming into their home and assessing your ability to successfully raise a child. The home study is actually a bit different from what most people think, but it is completely normal to feel a little intimidated. Let’s go over what exactly the process entails, so you can know what to expect:
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One of the biggest hurdles facing those interested in adoption is learning the complicated adoption system. The process is this way for the protection of children, but may be so arduous as to be discouraging to those attempting to navigate it. There are many steps including selecting an agency, completing a family assessment, and searching for a child, with lots of waiting in between. Before all of this, though, you need to decide what type of adoption you want to proceed with.
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Making a new child comfortable in your home will undoubtedly be stressful, and new adoptive parents should not have to worry about the acceptance of their relatives. It is important that your relatives share the same love and understanding for your adopted child as you do. However, they will not have been nearly as involved in the process as you have. Although they might be excited to welcome a new member into the family, some may be unsure of how to act. Still others may have deep personal feelings about adoption that need to be hashed out. Adjusting to a new family may take some time and might take a bit longer for those unfamiliar with the adoption process.
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Birth mothers who have opted for open adoption may not be able to care for their child the way they intended to, but still want to witness them grow and have some involvement in their lives. This is not true for many parents that make the difficult decision to place their child, so this wish should be respected by adoptive parents. Birth parents have placed their trust in you, so effective communication is important for sustaining that trust.
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As children grow older, they may come to their parents and want to know more about their birth family. This is a natural stage of life for many children who want to know more about who they are, but it can be a difficult thing to hear for their parents. Finding birth parents is a tricky issue to handle, especially if there is little information to share.
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The adoption process is very emotional for everyone involved, and birthmothers may be especially affected. The highs and lows that come with pregnancy may be intensified for mothers who have placed their child with another family. Birthmothers may experience grief and the accompanying stages that follow, such as anger, sorrow, denial, shock, and depression.
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Helping your child develop into a strong individual with a cemented sense of self is important for parents. Developing into a fully realized individual requires having some understanding of one’s past, which may be a tender subject for many adoptive families. A life story book can be a very useful, practical and fun way to record and reflect on a child’s life. The book may evolve into a collaborative project for the whole family.
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As our society becomes more accepting of how people choose to live their lives, it is becoming more common for single parents to adopt. One-parent families are just as equipped to handle the challenge of raising a child as the more traditional nuclear family that was the norm for much of the past. There should be no stigma for single individuals who choose to raise an adopted child on their own. In fact, it is often a wise and responsible choice.
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