There are not many choices that exceed the difficulty that comes along with deciding to place your child for adoption. While circumstances vary from person to person, the decision is always a difficult one that is influenced by many variables. If you’re one of the millions of women who have made this difficult decision, consider these helpful tips that’ll help you move forward and live a life of purpose.
Don’t Repress Your Feelings
After experiencing something traumatic, it’s easy to shut down and not acknowledge your pain. You may feel intense guilt, depression and hopelessness after making such a huge choice. However, in order to effectively move on, you have to acknowledge your feelings. Allow yourself to space to feel and grieve in order to effectively move on.
Plan for the Future
It’s not selfish to make plans for the future. Your child is now in a position where they’ll receive the care they need to survive. Now, it’s your time to shine. Develop an “after-adoption” plan that outlines your goals. This could involve continuing your education, shooting for a new position, or taking time off to recover.
Join a Support Group
Joining a support group is an excellent way to connect with others in a similar situation. You can gain insight into positive coping strategies or other resources that’ll help make this transition easier. The great thing about support groups is that they are usually free and held in private places. You’ll never have to be ashamed about sharing or not sharing your story. You’ll feel comfortable being surrounded by like-minded individuals who are enduring the same challenge.
Consult With a Professional
Placing a child for adoption is a huge decision that comes with many emotions. Processing those emotions alone is extremely difficult. Consulting with the help of a trained professional will help you unpack those many emotions without causing undue harm to yourself.
There are several specialists who focus primarily on birthmother after-adoption care. You may even find a peer-to-peer counselor beneficial as many of those individuals have experienced a situation similar to yours.
Take Care of Yourself
You’ve made a life-changing decision, one that comes with its fair share of guilt and opinions from the public. The truth is, only you know the reasons behind your actions and no one has the right to judge them. Unfortunately, that doesn’t stop others from sharing their unsolicited advice or judgment. That’s a lot of weight for one person to carry. Therefore, it’s imperative that you keep up with yourself during this time. Speak kindly to yourself and remove all forms of negativity from your life. Don’t neglect your health as a means to punish yourself. Instead, take whatever time needed to improve your health and create the best life for you.
Placing a child for adoption is a hard choice that comes with some pretty weighty emotions. However, you can find happiness after adoption. Work on getting through the pain and improving yourself, and soon you’ll find your new normal.
