7 Things Birthmothers Want their Adoptive Parents to Know

The adoption journey is not an easy one for birthmothers. Choosing adoption is emotional and difficult to begin with. Your relationship with a birthmother depends on a level of communication that suits both parties, but even if you establish a wonderful friendship, some things are still hard to admit and say out loud. That’s why there are some things birthmothers would want adoptive parents to know during all stages of the adoption process, but might be too afraid or shy to say.

1. Choosing adoption is an ultimate sign of love. When a birthmother chooses adoption, even with so many unanswered questions, it means she’s putting her child’s needs above her own and wants only what’s best or them.
2. An adoption is an act of trust. A birthmother places an extraordinary amount of trust in you when she chooses you to parent her child.
3. An adoption affects more people than just a birthmother. There are other family members involved. As an adoptive parent, you should be aware of and take into consideration the fact that your child also has a birthfather, birthgrandparents, and other family members who can be affected by a birthmother’s choice.
4. Birthmothers want their children to know they love them, and you as an adoptive parent should remind your child about that. Let’s be honest, there’s never such a thing as too much love, especially for children.
5. Birthmothers want you to know how they don’t want to interrupt the life you gave her child. One of the common adoption myths about birthmothers is how they’ll come back to reclaim their children. While this can happen in rare cases, most birthmothers spend countless hours creating an adoption plan in order to find the most suitable family for their children, and the last thing they want to do is to disrupt what they’ve created and what you’ve created in the circle of your family.
6. In the eyes of a birthmother, adoptive parents are always going to be her child’s mom and dad. Birthmothers respect the fact that they’ve found wonderful parents for her baby through adoption.
7. Birthmothers wish they could answer her child’s questions about adoption, but she trusts you to answer them as best as you can.