Our Adoption StoryRyan & Xavier

The Only Path

As a couple, we always knew we wanted to be dads. Our conversation about being parents started long before we even started considering how we would become parents. As we researched and discussed what life would be like raising a child, we both became more excited and decided adoption was the only path for us so we could raise a child together.

We chose to work with Angel because we found them to be the most straightforward, and everyone we spoke to at Angel made things clear for us. The staff was so kind and helpful as we were starting out on this journey.

We felt very prepared for the adoption journey to be a long one. We knew patience was going to be required, and thankfully we had the support of our friends and family to help us through the wait. Everyone was overjoyed for us, and their confidence in us and their belief that we would make great dads was encouraging.

Staying Grounded

While we had anticipated a long journey, that was not what was in store for us. Only one month after our profile was completed, we received the call that our profile had been selected by an expectant mother. We knew we had to control our excitement because although we were so excited about this opportunity, we had to remember the person on the other side of the phone and that this was not the most exciting time in her life. We couldn’t believe everything was happening so quickly, but we knew in order to not be overwhelmed, we had to take the process step by step.

We had the opportunity to meet the expectant mother in person, and we were so nervous! But as anxious as we were, we had to continue to remember how she must be feeling while meeting us for the first time too. Movies and television had set us up for planning a meeting and then the expectant mother never showing up, but this was not the case. We met for lunch and were able to meet her oldest child and her best friend. We had a great conversation, and it really solidified our bond over this process. We like to believe she knew from that moment this was the right choice for her and we were the right parents for her child.

Creating a Strong Bond

The night we got the call that the expectant mother was in labor was the night our lives changed. We received the call at around 3 a.m. that she was headed to the hospital. We received another call 35 minutes later, interrupted by a contraction, and were told the doctors said we should head up as soon as possible as she was in active labor. We were three hours away, but our bags had already been packed for some time and we had the essentials to care for a baby with us as well.

As we drove, we were given periodic updates, and when we were thirty minutes away, we got a call that our son had been born and was very healthy. We had not been able to be in the delivery room when he was born, so when we arrived, we were able to go right in and hold him for the first time!

The experience of meeting our son was amazing. The moment was filled with adrenaline and high emotions, but we had to remember that his birthmother was still in the room with us. In all, it was a very peaceful moment, and it almost did not feel real.

Since our son’s adoption, our relationship with his birthmother has remained strong. We agreed with her desire for a semi-open adoption. Since our son’s birth, we have communicated a few times and shared a few pictures. We are giving her space to heal and she is giving us space to settle into our new life, but she knows we are only a text or phone call away if she needs to talk to process anything or receive pictures.

Meant to Be

Looking back on our quick journey, our advice to adoptive parents is to be patient and willing to let go of control as you let the process work. In our situation, we felt the stars aligned, and we were meant to be placed with our son’s birthmom and raise this beautiful child. We believe all our pre-adoption discussions, the time it took to be approved, and choosing Angel were all a part of the path we were guided on by something bigger. All of this was meant to be.